Enduring to the End

          About 8 months into my mission I learned a lesson that still to this day serves me well. I was a senior companion and trainer for the first time. Naturally I wanted to set a great example for this new missionary no matter what. I wanted to show a strong worth ethic, how to effectively teach and bear testimony of the restored gospel, and overall be successful.

                I have said this before but successful people do what the un-successful are unwilling to do. It wasn’t long into this journey that I came down with a serious parasite called Giardia. This particular parasite really attacks your intestines and midsection. After a long first night I woke up so sore it was hard to walk and get out of bed, but none the less the work needed to continue. Most would call it a day and stay home, but I wanted to be successful which means doing what everyone else is unwilling to do.  We prepared just like any other day and set out to work. As the day carried on I struggled to walk but felt the lord carry me from house to house. We found several new families to teach that day and set a baptismal date with a family that we had been working with for a few weeks. The day was shaping up to be one of the best of my mission so far. As we started towards our final appointment of the day, I can still remember this as though it happened yesterday. We were walking and took a short cut across a soccer field when all of the sudden I collapsed and could not get up. After a few minutes I was able to muster enough strength to get up and go to the branch president’s house where he finally took us home.

                After a long day I was bed stuck and laid there thinking while trying to get some rest. I was back at it the next day and with some medicine things slowly started getting better. I didn’t know this at the time but later on that family we set a baptismal date with realized that goal and were baptized, and to top it off one of the new families that we found to teach for the first time that first day I was sick ended up getting baptized as well.

                This was the first time I started to notice a trend. Some days are harder to be obedient than others. Those days that it is harder to get to church or read the scriptures for example are the days that, when obedient, are life changers. Satan doesn’t care as much if I attend church on those normal days, but when he knows something is going to happen that day with eternal ramifications he will do everything he can to stop it. That is why it is so important to always go the extra mile, never settle, and do what everyone else is unwilling to do. I know that if we persevere and never get complacent we will always find ourselves in the right place and full of experiences that will serve us throughout our lives.

The Sacrament

When did I get my testimony of the sacrament? The thought “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” comes to mind. I have taken the sacrament since I was baptized 16 years ago. While on my mission I worked daily to get people to the church for the sole purpose of seeing how the sacrament was administered and with the hope that someday they would be able to make promises through baptism. Just before coming home I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t miss the sacrament ever again for the rest of my life.

After thinking about it there is nothing more important than that hour on Sunday. No sales call with a potential customer, job interview, or golf tee time would be more important than renewing my covenants each and every Sunday. I made a very good effort for quite a while until one week I had to work on a Sunday during the time my sacrament was held, the following week I was out of town camping, and then a 3^rd week in a row I was gone again for something else.

Finally the 4^th week I was able to make it back and take the sacrament. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that my life and overall feeling during those 3 weeks was a lonely and one of the more temptation filled weeks of my life. All my usual tasks like work and life in general were extra tough and yet temptations that usually had no effect on me were constantly taxing on my mind. I would think how easy it would be to sin and just repent later. The feeling was ugly and Sunday couldn’t come sooner.

Once back in the “groove” being able to take the sacrament weekly I was filled again with the power to resist temptation. I guess never up until that point I took for granted or never understood how much armor I was wearing over the years to deflect failure and temptation.

The lesson learned is to never forget how important that morsel of bread and swig of water is each Sunday.  Satan knows the importance and will do what he can to make sure we are busy, too tired, invitations from friends, or money get in the way of use being present for that one hour session of church each Sunday. I know that the sacrament provides protection from the adversary and strength to us so we can be successful temporally and spiritually each and every week of our lives.  What a gift it truly is.

Patriarchal Blessings

                I remember reading my patriarchal blessing before leaving on my mission. I was going to a country where war and gang violence has been a life style for years. Although things have gotten better in the country it didn’t help ease the anxiety of my Mom. She was sending her baby boy to a place that was everything but Wyoming. We read the blessing and it clearly stated that I would be moved from harm’s way throughout my mission and that nothing would happen to me to keep me from being able to preach the gospel.

                While in the MTC we were playing basketball on our gym hour and during the game I hurt my thumb. The middle joint got hurt somehow, but to this day my finger still gets stuck when I try to bend it sometimes. Weird I know, but the point is after this happened I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I was supposed to be protected while on my mission that no harm was supposed to fall on me, yet here I was just a few weeks into the mission and my thumb is broken. You wouldn’t believe the other doubts that started to flood into my mind. If my patriarchal blessing wasn’t real then what was? It wasn’t for a few days that I realized my stupidity and was able to get it out of my head. It would be another 16 months until I would understand the true meaning of that line my mom and I had read.

                While in an area called Juayua, I was going to find a referral that we had been given for a younger kid that was interested in learning more about the church.  We knocked on the door and no one was home we started to leave when I was asked by a group of kids in the street what we were doing knocking on that door. I proceeded to tell them that we were looking for a teenager that was interested in the gospel. The guy told us that he was his cousin and as his cousin we could never come back again. I said ok and we started to leave, but before I could he said “but hey gringo, if you want to leave you need to give me a quarter.” (El Salvador uses US currency) Sarcastically I replied that all I had was a few dollars but no quarters. He then pulled out a gun and asked me again for a quarter. I again replied that I would be happy to give him a dollar but I had no quarter and turned around and started to walk away. Even angrier now he shouted “Gringo, if you don’t stop and give me a quarter I will shoot you in the back of the head!” As I continued to walk away I replied “ok!” I’m sure the member was scared out of his mind by this point but we kept walking and nothing happened.

                I don’t know why he never shot. He may have been bluffing the whole time, the gun could have misfired, and maybe it was a fake or didn’t have any bullets. What I do know is that my patriarchal blessing promised me protection to the point that it would not get in the way of the work. I then realized that I was never promised protection from hurt thumbs because I could still teach the gospel with a broken thumb, I couldn’t however teach the gospel with a bullet in my head.

                Satan always tries to get us to jump to conclusions about or faith or even life in general when something goes wrong, it is important not to lose sight of the big picture, the long term, the eternal prospective of things. The even better part of all that is that Heavenly Father gives us a unique tool to help us not lose that sight, your patriarchal blessing.

               

Power of Testimonies

                Thinking back on high school, I remembered a special moment I had my senior year. The year was just about over and as it is customary in seminary all seniors bore their testimonies a week or two prior to the end of the school year in class for the underclassman. Usually it was a re-assurance for the younger students that seminary was fun, worth the time, and a chance to gain a true testimony. I myself didn’t LOVE seminary all that much, but I knew the importance it played in my life during those critical years. Little did I know then that my future mother in law was there every day, so it was good that I behaved and never skipped class to do something different.

                It was my turn to bear my testimony, and I remember thinking how adamant I was not to spend the whole time telling the underclassmen how great seminary was for me, but rather a pure heart felt testimony. I don’t remember what I said; all I remember was that I kept it simple. As class ended I carried on throughout my day as if it were any normal day. A few days later when I went back to seminary, the underclassmen were given the opportunity to share their testimonies towards the end of the class period. Most reflected back on their first or second years in seminary, and it felt just like any other testimony meeting.

                I bet you are wondering what the big deal is with this story, well up to this point I hadn’t realized anything significant either. Unbeknownst to me and everyone else at the time, a big deal happened to a struggling freshman. He got up in front of the class and started to tell a story. He said he was really not understanding how God could call Joseph Smith at just 14 years old to be a prophet and to restore the church once again on the earth, or how this same God could care or even know of his problems. He then proceeded to say how he decided to give it all a fighting chance until the school year ended. His eyes lifted up from the floor and he said that my testimony a few days previous was as if God himself was speaking through me to him. My testimony of the restoration and our Heavenly Father brought a feeling that was undeniable to him. He publicly thanked me for my testimony and said that because of my testimony he now had one.

                As I sat there and listened to him say these things I was flabbergasted. Never before had I been used like that by the Lord to help someone spiritually. It made me think back over the years of how many times I had bore my testimony and who knew how many lives were possibly changed as such, or the opposite even due to my lack of speaking out. From that day on I have tried to never let a chance to share my testimony go by because we never know whose prayers might be answered by our words or what experiences I have had in the past that I could share to help someone else in a time of need.

                I know that everyday whether we know it or not, God has plans for us. Plans that could impact ourselves, individuals, or even generations, and the great thing about all of it is the Holy Ghost is there to help us never let an opportunity pass unanswered as long as we do our part to listen. God has a plan, we are part of it, and all that is needed for that plan to fail is for us to do nothing.  I know he lives and I know he loves us.

Baptism

                I am grateful for the unique baptism I was able to have. Unlike most baptisms mine was not held in a chapel. I had the opportunity to be baptized by my Dad in a river. The Green River in Wyoming, where the pioneers crossed while making it to Utah was the venue right alongside my best friend. Of course this didn’t take place in June or July, rather late September. I remember the overcast day getting changed in the back of our gold mini van while my brothers held up a sheet over the back tail gate to cover me.

                I can still remember stepping foot into that freezing cold Wyoming water with my socks on and thinking I couldn’t get baptized with them on. I quickly jumped out and took them off before proceeding. As I held my Dads hand I remember looking down into the water and seeing the current race underneath us. Before I knew what had happened I was under the cold water and back up again a new boy. Then I don’t think I realized some of the things I do know, but for an eight year old kid I do remember making one connection as I got out of the water and looked back at the river. I remember thinking how glad I was that those sins were racing down the river away from me forever.

                We took pictures and headed back to my friend’s house, and I can still remember the determination I had to stay that clean forever. As anyone who knows me it didn’t take long for that conviction to break, but thanks to Jesus Christ we all have something very valuable that can help us re-up on those convictions we all had at our baptisms. Through the sacrament we are essentially baptized again each week and have the opportunity to start over. I know that God forgives us of our sins and time and time again lets us start over. I hope I never take for granted that opportunity given to change each week and not stick to the same lifestyle that brings me back to repentance so often. I hope that through his help I can get out of those ruts and get better each week. Hopefully take off sin at a time in my journey to become like Him.

                I know it is possible. I know through the power of the Holy Ghost that was given to me after that cold September day that the authority to perform such ordinances is here on this earth today. We have been given permission by God to act in his name, and by all means let’s do so.