Priorities V2

My current calling in our ward is ward mission assistant. Thursday this week we had a meeting with the Mission President and the are 70 representative to discuss the work in our stake. Of course I left thinking what more could I do, how could I be better, and most of all juggle the spiritual with the temporal. This week Brooke and I had the opportunity to go to the temple. I entered the temple with this meeting still in mind and how I could be better.

Almost immediately after sitting down I began to feel sleepy, and in a matter of a few minutes started to doze off. I really didn't want to waste this time we had to be in the temple and for the Lord to teach me. I said a prayer in my heart that I would be alert and listen to the spirit. Of course I was awakened but not in the way I had imagined. My mind started to race with all the stress and tasks I had with work, school, filing K1 reports and taxes for my business. After several minutes of this and as my heart rate began to increase in anxiety to finish and go home where I could start work on all I had on mind, I had a sharp realization and question of why. Why was I thinking about all this stuff while at the temple? Thankfully I asked someone that knew! I said another prayer and asked Heavenly Father why after waking me up would my mind be filled with all these thoughts, I would have preferred to be asleep than to go this anxiety.

Somehow my mind started to take a turn and think on my post last week about priorities and how putting the Lord first makes all the less important things in life go away and how he will help me align everything else. I left knowing that if I started to dedicate the first hour of my day to him through scripture study, the spirit would be with me and not only help my mind capacity to handle the daily things I need to do but the physical strength on the missed hour of sleep will be caught up in him as well. It wasn't a matter of things will just be okay, rather my abilities and over rate of function would far exceed what I am used to. I thought back to my mission, where I could run all day without getting tired and think at such a high level with the Holy Ghosts influence it felt as if I was floating, nothing seemed impossible.

Soon after I had these impressions I started to doubt. I have been here before, pumped up to go out and succeed, out perform all others and be great. Just as most New Year's resolutions I would do great for a little while before smudging back into my previous self. Afraid of falling again, the Lord kindly reminded me of fast Sunday today and fasting in general. The purpose of fasting is to learn self mastery and perseverance along with a demonstration to show the Lord that I am committed and serious about this change in my life.

The road to exhalation is not easy, nor will it ever be, however we can choose to make it easier by not going it alone. Successful business owners learn relentless resourcefulness. We have an abundance of resources in the Gospel  to combat whatever we are faced with and be successful, remember to use them. It is exciting to be on the verge of something new, knowing that the path I am starting on again leads to something great, not just for myself but those that will be impacted by the missionary work we will be doing better as a result.

Priorities

When Brooke and I got married the sealer told us to go to the temple often as a couple. Seeing how we lived just a few blocks from the Salt Lake City Temple we thought it would be a great goal to go weekly. Pretty lofty goal if you consider what we had going on. Let me explain:

My average day consisted of school from 7:10 AM to Noon Monday through Friday. I worked Tuesday through Saturday from 2:00 PM to 10:30 PM. I would get home around 11 PM, do some homework, maybe grab a bite to eat before heading to bed to start it all over again the next day. With this in mind the only time temple attendance was possible would be Saturday morning before I had to go to work. Temples are closed on Sundays and Mondays. It would have been great if they were open Monday since all I had that day was school. We couldn't during the 2 hour slot I had between school and work from noon to 2 because I had about a 30 minute commute to work each day. Each day I would rush home from school, eat a quick lunch and if I had time do some homework before changing and heading off to endure the traffic of I-15. My company had a strict attendance policy, no more than one minute and fifty nine seconds late would be permissible.

Back to the goal: Brooke and I were doing great for the first few months we didn't miss a week. Then for some reason I can't remember why, but we weren't able to make it to the temple on our designated Saturday morning one week. Not knowing how we could make it up, Brooke knew that there would be a way for us to keep our goal. That Monday I had an institute class in which a principle about priorities was taught. Our teacher said that he was once told if we were to forget what mattered to us and started to think and do what mattered to the Lord two things would happen. Everything in our life that really wasn't all that important would fall out of our lives without any really impact on our lives, and secondly God would prepare a way for the other import things to fit some how some way. Similar to Nephi and the brass plates. Funny, he should mention that given our circumstance with the missed Temple attendance. I knew it was important to the Lord that we kept our goal, but I also knew there just wasn't any spare time to make it up.

I decided to put it to the test thanks to Brooke's faith and help. I was going to skip out a little early from my last class dash over to the temple, go through the temple, then speed straight to work. The math worked out perfectly, since a normal session in the Salt Lake Temple lasted about 2.5 hours. The next day I was graciously reminded in each and EVERY class that I just so happened to have a big assignment due this same week. Those two hours between school and work were vital to me getting homework done, and now I was just going to skip it and go to the temple? Still determined to see if this institute teacher as telling the truth we went to the temple Wednesday afternoon. I met Brooke there and was planning on just doing all my homework that night after work.

We finished the session and left to the parking lot. It was 1:35, I had 25 minutes to make my normal 28 minute drive to work. As we pulled to the parking gate i reached for my parking coin to open the gate and it was missing! We had drove separately since I just came straight from school, with no spare time to go back to the temple and get the coin I decided to drive my blue Honda Civic extra close behind Brooke to  race the gate as it opened for her as to let both of our cars out at once. The gate opened and Brooke went out and I followed as close as I could behind then WACK, the arm came down right on top of the car but luckily we were just far enough that we got out. The parking arm did leave a nice 3 foot scuff on the roof of my car to remind me of my ill advised choice.

I made it to work on time some how and home again to the reality of the mounds of assignments I had left to do for the morning. I think I made it to about midnight before I fell asleep. Morning came and I was off to school with empty notebooks where my big assignments were supposed to be. Expecting the worst, but believing the promise that the Lord would make my other priorities fit I stepped into my first class. The teacher got up and to my surprise let us know that she was going to a concert that evening and wouldn't have time to grade assignments so we were to take the weekend to finish them up and bring them to class on Monday instead! Never in my college life had an assignment due date been moved back, I couldn't believe what I had heard, but my heart kept telling me you know exactly why the due date was moved back. I then proceeded to my next class and with out a doubt the same miracle entered my ears, "go ahead and take the weekend to finish up". As if I were in the movie ground hogs day the third and final class of the day had the same wonderful news for me!

I had arranged my priorities to make the Lords first in my life, and he held his end of the bargain. I know that he has an ever watchful eye over us, just waiting to bless us for being obedient. We have to let him though, and we can by opening our days up to him. You will be surprised where his road takes us over time.

Getting Answers

I once heard a saying "If you want to talk to the Lord, pray. If you want the Lord to talk to you, read the scriptures." This really brought the accessibility to our Heavenly Father home for me.

Often times I felt it necessary for a vision or great epiphany in order to hear what our Father has in store for us. To know that the answers to my problems are in the scriptures is very comforting. If the exact answer is not expressly written in a verse, the Holy Ghost then fills in and somehow relates it to whatever it is that I am seeking. It’s a truly brilliant way for us to exercise our faith to act in an effort to earn an answer from our Father, as well as trust that we will get an answer through our efforts.

While on a mission this never rang truer. For the first time in my life I was alone and all I had was God and my memories to carry me through. Initially I looked to a great vision for answers to my prayers and they never came. Once I humbled myself to the scriptures, and knew that I was going to learn something new no matter how many times I had read that particular verse. When the Holy Ghost is teaching through the scriptures it doesn't matter what is actually written on the page, rather where your mind is taken by the gift of the Holy Ghost to learn what the Lord wants you to.

The difference between knowledge and understanding is application. To know something merely means you can recite it or can relate when someone talks about it. To understand is the ability to apply that topic. To live what you know means you understand. To understand that the answers to everything are found in the scriptures would mean that you actually go there to find answers instead of just knowing that the answers lie there.

I know from experience that we are children of our Heavenly Father. While in the MTC, I remember a few weeks into it all kneeling at my bedside praying harder than I have ever done before. Prayer after prayer no answers were coming. Finally when I had run out of words to say I sat on my bed and just opened the scriptures. I didn't turn to a certain page, I just opened them and started reading. I couldn't tell you today where I read or what I read, but I can tell you that my Heavenly Father spoke to me that night and gave me courage to fight and forget myself in the service of this children. It was what I needed at the time I needed it.

The scriptures are the Lord’s words written down. My scriptures are the words He has spoken to my mind and are an additional place I can turn to for answers. We should all have a log of personal lessons written down where we can turn to them when we need the words of a loving Heavenly Father.

Endowment

I'll be honest that I didn't know what the word "Endowment" meant for the longest time. Understanding that going to the Temple and getting a blessing from on high and gifts from God can really put perspective to your life. I think of it this way...what is the best achievement or gift someone can achieve here on earth? Some say the Nobel Peace Prize, other think the medal of honor or purple heart, or maybe even a Super Bowl ring could be the highest. They are all given to you from a world power, a king or President. How cool would it be to get the Nobel Peace Prize of the universe from the greatest King ever, our Heavenly Father? Fact of the matter is you can with the covenants and blessings in the Temple. 

While in the MTC I was able to go to the Temple once a week. It was great since I was there for 2 months. I remember sitting in the Celestial room on the last trip before flying out to El Salvador, knowing full well there wasn't a Temple in my mission and this feeling I had in me at that moment would have to last for 2 years until I could make it back. When the time came I reluctantly got up and walked out of the room and eventually out the front doors to look past the fountain onto the Provo valley and Utah Lake. If I didn't know any better I would have thought I was floating since everything is low elevation than the Temple. As we walked back to the MTC, I had a prayer in my heart that this feeling that was still in me would never leave until I could make it back. 

Without fail that feeling left over time, but the endowment never did. I was given power to fight through rejection, parasites, unbelievable heat, loneliness, and fatigue. The priesthood power and gift from Temple covenants helped me "float" above it all and find joy in the journey. Of course I missed the inside walls of the Temple but the knowledge and companionship of the Lord I was never without. 

As most people work a lifetime to earn such rewards and gifts, the Temple blessings are endowments to help with a life time of work to make it back where we all came from and belong! We need to make it to the Temple as soon as possible and for those that have gone, we need to go often as possible. I know it is something that I need to work on.  

Eternal Marriage

        I remember the day I decided to marry Brooke. I had bought the ring a few week previous but still wasn't 100% committed at that point. The day I decided to marry her I jumped in my car and headed to Evanston where I met with her parents and asked for permission. Afterwords I drove to Idaho where I surprised her at work and we hung out for the weekend. She still had no idea at this point where I was earlier that day. Long story short a few months later we were married in the Salt Lake City Temple.

Today Brooke and I taught a lesson on marriage and unity. It came to me today more than ever how important a Temple marriage is. There is so much more to it than just living with someone you care about. It is raising children in the gospel, helping each other progress culturally, spiritually, intellectually, and personally. It is the mutual understanding that we are in this forever. There is no end, which helps when arguments come up and rough times to know that it's just a spec on the eternal time line.

I am grateful that we have the blessing of the Priesthood and Temples to carry out such things. I know that Temples are where lasting ordinances are preformed. Temple marriage to me is a life long ceremony. It last more than the few nice words and the initial kiss as bride and groom on the wedding day. It is a test that we love each other throughout our entire lives, to prove to one another that we are committed for eternity. After this life is where the journey begins. Brooke and I are mutually in this marriage with an eternal perspective on things and I love her for doing this with me.

Birds Eye View

Have you ever driven across Wyoming in the middle of the night? We did this summer. We left Utah around 9:00 PM and drove through the night so Duncan would last the 8 hour drive north to Powell. It had been several years since I had last made the trip and I had never done it in the night. Needless to say we had to ask the phone a few times where to turn. My phone has turn by turn navigation capabilities and we had to use it a time or two so we didn't end up in South Dakota.

For those that haven't had the pleasure of driving these Wyoming roads let me tell you that there are stretches of I want to say 100+ miles where you wont see anything but dirt and tumble weeds. If you mix that in with the night sky you can't see farther then the 50 or so feet in front of you that you headlights are showing. So you are forced to TRUST this road that you are driving on that it will indeed take you where you really want to go. At day time you can at least see some land marks from time to time but all that goes away at night. When we came to some cross roads it wasn't always clear which way we needed to turn. When we weren't sure we asked the trusty phone. You can see a couple hundred feet above you and even go ahead if you want to see where this windy road is taking you. All of the sudden I can see farther ahead then the headlights, the worry of not being sure about a choice is gone because I know the GPS doesn't care if it is light or dark out, it knows how to guide me to where I want to go.

It didn't dawn on me until the next day at church the spiritual implications that trip had on me. Our lives are just like that road trip, each and every person is born with the light of Christ "headlights". Just like the don't make cars with out headlights our loving Heavenly Father doesn't send his children to earth without the light of Christ to help them see a few feet ahead. For those that chose, the gift of the Holy Ghost is conferred that acts as a GPS. Our goal is to make if from point A to point B. A being birth and B being back to him once more. How nice is it to have the luxury of a GPS on this trip back home? How scary are those times when we are left without it, not knowing where to turn next, trying to trust our own abilities to get back? GPS devices run off battery and can go dead if not recharged. We all make decisions from time to time that deplete our batteries and cause the Holy Ghost to leave us in the dark. How great the power of the atonement is that allows these batteries to be recharged with countless re-tries when we mess up? It is clear to see that God wants all of us back. He can't or won't force us back though; it is up to us to come to his open arms. (3 Nephi 9:13-14)

This luxury is fully paid for by the blood of Christ, it is available to everyone no matter who you are, what you have done, or where you are from. It is scary to think of life without this guidance, Satan knows how great this guidance is to us and will do everything in his power to convince us that we are not good enough to have this gift. Don't listen to him, we are all good enough, we can all make it back to him and see the sun rise. Remember it is always darkest just before sunrise. 

What is Time?

Probably the one thing there is no going back on. Time, is so valuable. Today was general conference and Elder Henry B. Eyring talked about choices he made in his professional career that weren't exactly what he had hoped for but it was what the Lord wanted and he obeyed.

I remember a time on my mission, it was the night before my one year anniversary to be exact, the half way point. I had a dream that night that I was in the kitchen when the phone rang. President Call was on the other line and he told me that the mission rules from the Church had changed. No longer were missionaries to server for 2 years, rather 1 year now. He told me seeing how I had been out exactly one year now it was time to pack up and come home. I hung up the phone and started thinking to myself how could this be? I wasn't ready to go home. I hadn't completed what I had set out to do. Sure, at this point I had several baptisms,  was a Zone leader, had already trained a missionary and felt on paper like I was very accomplished as a missionary. Something was missing, I wasn't truly converted and I felt as if I hadn't tried over the past year as hard as I really could have. That was all too late now, time had passed, there was no going back.

I woke up, my pillow drenched in sweat,(Still not sure if that was due to the dream, drool, or the extreme heat at the time) I was in a panic. It didn't hit me for about another hour that it was all a dream, or was it? Indeed I really only had a year now to serve a mission. If I were to start today I would only be able to serve a one year mission for the Lord. I made a promise to the Lord that I would bust my butt to leave nothing behind but good works and miracles EVERY day.

Why is it that during those 2 years of my life I had so many memories, lessons, and things to write home about, yet now and before my mission the days seem to fly by without a memory to hold them from the wind? Brooke and I had a conversation tonight while driving home from Evanston, the example came to mind of bread. There are two types of bread really. The one dollar loafs that are fluffy and light, then there are the more expensive kinds that are heavy and healthy full of good things. On the outside there look the same until you pick them up or taste them. Life is just like that sometimes. We can look at everyone around us and they may appear successful, happy or "heavy". Truth is we really cant tell until you ask. I think the reason my life during the 2 years I was on a mission was so hearty with memories and life lessons was because of one key element. God was heavily involved in my life. I woke up asking what he had planned for me.

Today I go to work, I have a boss that gives me guidance on what I need to do each day. If my boss isn't there I try to make do but we all know the day is never as productive when he/she is gone. The same goes with us spiritually, if we lose track of ourselves in all these earthly goals and aspirations we are going to look back at life as a one dollar loaf of bread, light and fluffy with no true value. I hope to never let the one thing we can't go back slip anymore. I need something to write home about each day. I know if we strive to make the effort we will see the hand of God in our lives more often. Our lives will be continually filled with stories as if we are on missions. The Lord never forgets about us and stops giving us experiences  we stop asking and looking for them.

I hope I never have to wait for the phone call to wake up again and get going again. Procrastinate later, and jump ahead of the curve where our loving Heavenly Father will be waiting for us with outstretched hands saying job well done.