Probably the one thing there is no going back on. Time, is so valuable. Today was general conference and Elder Henry B. Eyring talked about choices he made in his professional career that weren't exactly what he had hoped for but it was what the Lord wanted and he obeyed.
I remember a time on my mission, it was the night before my one year anniversary to be exact, the half way point. I had a dream that night that I was in the kitchen when the phone rang. President Call was on the other line and he told me that the mission rules from the Church had changed. No longer were missionaries to server for 2 years, rather 1 year now. He told me seeing how I had been out exactly one year now it was time to pack up and come home. I hung up the phone and started thinking to myself how could this be? I wasn't ready to go home. I hadn't completed what I had set out to do. Sure, at this point I had several baptisms, was a Zone leader, had already trained a missionary and felt on paper like I was very accomplished as a missionary. Something was missing, I wasn't truly converted and I felt as if I hadn't tried over the past year as hard as I really could have. That was all too late now, time had passed, there was no going back.
I woke up, my pillow drenched in sweat,(Still not sure if that was due to the dream, drool, or the extreme heat at the time) I was in a panic. It didn't hit me for about another hour that it was all a dream, or was it? Indeed I really only had a year now to serve a mission. If I were to start today I would only be able to serve a one year mission for the Lord. I made a promise to the Lord that I would bust my butt to leave nothing behind but good works and miracles EVERY day.
Why is it that during those 2 years of my life I had so many memories, lessons, and things to write home about, yet now and before my mission the days seem to fly by without a memory to hold them from the wind? Brooke and I had a conversation tonight while driving home from Evanston, the example came to mind of bread. There are two types of bread really. The one dollar loafs that are fluffy and light, then there are the more expensive kinds that are heavy and healthy full of good things. On the outside there look the same until you pick them up or taste them. Life is just like that sometimes. We can look at everyone around us and they may appear successful, happy or "heavy". Truth is we really cant tell until you ask. I think the reason my life during the 2 years I was on a mission was so hearty with memories and life lessons was because of one key element. God was heavily involved in my life. I woke up asking what he had planned for me.
Today I go to work, I have a boss that gives me guidance on what I need to do each day. If my boss isn't there I try to make do but we all know the day is never as productive when he/she is gone. The same goes with us spiritually, if we lose track of ourselves in all these earthly goals and aspirations we are going to look back at life as a one dollar loaf of bread, light and fluffy with no true value. I hope to never let the one thing we can't go back slip anymore. I need something to write home about each day. I know if we strive to make the effort we will see the hand of God in our lives more often. Our lives will be continually filled with stories as if we are on missions. The Lord never forgets about us and stops giving us experiences we stop asking and looking for them.
I hope I never have to wait for the phone call to wake up again and get going again. Procrastinate later, and jump ahead of the curve where our loving Heavenly Father will be waiting for us with outstretched hands saying job well done.
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